randoms

26.06.07 - 4:32am

when you can't sleep... exercise your writing skills, or atleast your typing skills.

daily, i am finding out things about myself.  i am a very passionate person.  i guess it's the artist in me.  all this time i was nurturing the academic fiend i was raised to strive to be, when in reality i'm bursting at the seams with creativity.  there's always a new idea for choreography, a scene out of life's daily routine that should have been captured in a photo, a great idea for a play, and prose which should be written, copyrighted, and distributed.  my mind is a playground... or to borrow from john mayer, a wonderland.  so all this artist stuff is probably what drives me to be so passionate.  the kind of passion that blinds.  there is no "can't" in the core of passion's vision.  everything seems possible, difficult and impossible are synonymous to challenge.  the downfall?  i have to have everything i want.  backing down is not an option, so when it becomes a must, it takes a lot of humility.  the upside?  it teaches me more to be like Christ and brings me closer to Him.  enough said, Christ is always enough.

hmmm, what else?  i love thoughtful people.  they make life worth living.

God loves my car.  actually, He loves when i'm in my car alone.  the rareness of the occassion lends it to be a rather special one.  i have yet to perfect the skill of not spreading myself too thin.  i'm always on the go, phone always ringing, message always alerting, and it needs to stop!  haha... so sometimes when i'm in my car, i put my phone on silent, pop in my worship cds and drive and talk with Daddy.  tears flow, healing is experienced, intimacy attained.  there is nothing better than knowing You.

last summer the Enemy tried to put me down... tried to discourage me about life.  "you have no life.  you spend all your days with 13 year olds" is what he often whispered into my battleground, aka, my mind..  this summer, God gave me victory.  "not only do i have a life, but i am investing in and helping bring change to others."  so take that Devil.   you can't take my victory away from me.  JESUS LIVES.

i love my sinigang sour.  i am obsessed with korean and filipino dramas (hence i'm awake at 4:45).  a good book and/or a good concert are two of life's greatest pleasures.  my favourite flowers are white orchids, big ones.  i love to travel and don't mind living most of the year below poverty level just so that for a few weeks of that year i can marvel at how God made the world and how He made all of us so different, but yet so similar.  i wouldn't trade my 13 (some older, some younger) year olds for the world.  my current cd rotation:  united, the fray, switchfoot, common, bethany dillon.  my current read: none.  i'm looking for a good book.  my current occupation:  dog walker :)  i get paid $15/day, and at most, walk zoie only 2-3 days a week... so don't ask me to do anything expensive!  i'm leaving for philippines in a month and a half; i haven't paid for my trip yet :S  but God will provide, He always does.  my current struggle:  financial constraints... i'm currently hating paris hilton b/c she doesn't have to go to school and never has to learn how to budget for gas and food.

this is currently my favourite song on the cd:

All At Once
-The Fray

There are certain people you just keep coming back to
She is right in front of you
You begin to wonder could you find a better one
Compared to her now she's in question

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there

Looking for the right one you line up the world to find
Where no questions cross your mind
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt
Much longer for you to sort it out

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it,
Maybe it's all you're running from,
Perfection will not come

And all at once the crowd begins to sing
Sometimes
We'd never know what's wrong without the pain
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you've started to compare to someone not there
Maybe you want it maybe you need it
Maybe it's all you're running from
Perfection will not come

Maybe you want her maybe you need her
Maybe you had her maybe you lost her to another
To another

=) i watched the concert last friday

good night/morning :)  let's change the world today?

should be sleeping

Currently Listening Waking Up By Bethany Dillon see related

quarter-century ramblings

yes folks, 'tis true... i've been living on this earth for a quarter of a century since april 20th.  kinda depressing sometimes, but if i approach life that way, i might never achieve greatness.  so i'm going to force myself to see it as a brand new beginning with brand new challenges and opportunities for greatness.

life's most important lessons thus far:
1.) Jesus is all that I need and He's more than enough, and when i feel that He isn't, something's wrong with me
2.) Good friends get fewer as the number of your years get plentier.  I've learned that the older we get, the quantity of our friendships diminish, but the quality increases.
3.) When you're having an ugly day, wear black, and straighten your hair.
4.) The heart is resilient.  No matter what kind of beating it has taken, what doesn't kill it, only makes it stronger.
5.) Our male counterparts are not enemies, they can actually be good people.
6.) You will lose friends along the way, don't sweat it.  If they don't want to be your friend, why would you want to be theirs?
7.)  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
8.) Inner-beauty kicks outer-beauty's butt.
9.)  Life's greatest pleasures: a great book and a great concert
10.) No matter how many people disappoint you, no matter how much things they do wrong, you can't give up on humanity.  You can't lose hope.  Your friend needs you to believe in her.  She needs you to push and/or pull her through.  She needs your prayers when her own have gotten lost in her crooked path.  Be family to everyone.  Live like ONE body.

today, there was not much lesson-learning happening... just a lot of reflection (thank you xanga once again for letting me unload).  last Sunday i watched John and the UTGC sing their little hearts out... and they reminded me of an old hymn that tells us to lay all of our burdens down at His feet.  right now i'm feeling a bit overwhelmed.  I honestly don't know how to deal with my own problems... but so much is happening in the lives of people i love and it honestly affects me.  i'm disappointed, enraged, saddened, frustrated... but also helpless.  but in the back of my mind Holy Spirit keeps whispering that we are more than overcomers.  simple, basic, non-religious stuff.  we're overcomers.  it's all i need to know... and it pushes me to keep going.  to remember that there's a big picture that i can't really see right now. 

my heart hurts :( but i'm praying and i know that at the end of the day, we're all going to get through these things with bruised knees and scar-filled arms. 

i've been battling a thorn on my side for almost two years now.  not a physical ailment or anything like that, but an emotional hindrance... but it keeps me dependent on GOD.  Lord I need You. 

"easy" button

sometimes i wish life was one big business depot and i can just hit the EASY button...
but i can't.

sometimes it's easier to run away.

Currently Listening Learning to Breathe By Switchfoot see related

learning to breathe